FINDING MY SILENCE TO HEAR HIS WORD

These past few years of my writing Practice have worked at achieving the anticipated goal of finding my true voice, not just the accumulation of other voices that I have listened to and learned from over the years.  That was the intended goal but now I believe it has done something even better; it has purged the words all welled up inside me so that I could finally find and experience my true silence; a sacred silence that like gold emerges when the dross is melted away. 

Thomas Aquinas experienced this when he compared all he had thought and written to the vision of God he had seen, and thought it straw.  Isaiah experienced this when he saw God in all His glory on the throne in the temple and declared himself lost, undone, a man of unclean lips.  Mary experienced that as she ceased her serving and simply sat at the Master’s feet.

There are no words to speak; only worship to come forth from the sanctuary of my soul, made pure by the purging of words leaving only the silence of His being in me.  Now, if words come, I want them to come out of that silence; if thoughts come, I want them to come out of that silence.  I am not wanting to find my voice; I want to clearly and purely hear God’s voice, His still small voice, the sound of a whisper.

The pilgrimage of my heart is taking a different tack.  I have been mending my nets and now I am positioning my sails Home, towards the dwelling place of God.  I want to abide in Him and have His words abide in me, so that the fruit I produce in thought, word, and deed will be good and abiding fruit that is pleasing to Him.

THE PARADOX OF BEING CENTERED & BALANCED

I need deep roots

And I need a large space to grow

I need to know my creation story

And I need to know my new earth to come story

I need to remember my past

And I need to imagine my future

I need to find my voice

And I need to experience my silence

I need to be content with where I am now

And I need to long intensely for where I am to be

I need to know all that I can know

And I need to wonder and live in the Mystery

I need to laugh and experience joy

And I need to cry and embrace suffering

I need good boundaries

And I need total and abandoned freedom

I need a firm foundation to keep me grounded

And I need an unaccomplished vision so I can soar

MY FAITH & PRACTICE

My faith is what I believe in; my religion is how I practice my faith as I live my life and how I interact with the world I live in and the people I live with in this world.  While it is very personal it is also very communal.

My faith is centered and built on a firm foundation in relationship with God the Father, Jesus Christ, God’s Son, and the Holy Spirit.  My practice maintains that relationship.  It also builds and maintains my relationship with all that God created, nature and all human beings.  In the world that God created there were differences but there was an overriding harmony; and it was very good.  That is the state that all human beings are born with; it’s our DNA, so to speak. 

That state of harmony was broken when human beings tried to usurp the authority of the Creator.  Religion is about human beings trying to get back to that original state of being; a state of harmony and peace.  Some believe that can only be done by repairing the breach in relationship with their Creator.  Others believe they can do that on their own by Practice and discipline.  We can learn from one another’s Practice even though our faith is our own to believe and Practice and can not be compromised or coerced.  My faith is built on the necessity to repair the breach in my relationship with God through the work of Jesus and maintained by the Holy Spirit.  I believe that true peace can only come when that relationship is made whole.

I have a great deal of respect for men and women who practice their religion very seriously and are dedicated to harmony and peace with others.  They have developed ways to achieve those things that I have found helpful in my Practice, even though they are different in their faith.  I am aware of the differences but I can learn from their way of being.  In hearing them speak they are also in that place of understanding; finding helpful common ground without compromising their own beliefs or coercing me to change mine.  We live in a world that necessitates that ability to respect one another in our differences.

The concept of coercing people to convert them to a faith is foreign to me.  That is not the way I see Jesus doing it or teaching it.  I believe God’s desire is to have all His creation in a harmonious relationship with Him as He created it to be.  But God created us free to choose and will never force Himself upon us.  Force is not love.

My faith is built on the Truth that Jesus is more than just another good teacher.  I believe he is God’s Son, a part of the Three in One that remains a great mystery to the human mind.  I don’t believe this because of any man’s teaching; I believe this through personal and inner experience that is beyond words to explain.  If my faith and belief was the result of mere human teaching I would probably be a Zen Buddhist Monk.  I have done a lot of study of their religion and my sensibilities lean in the ways of their Practice.  There is a natural drawing towards the Oriental philosophies, much more that the Western philosophies.  While I like their Practice and their simple ways of life, I didn’t find in them a Rock I could build my faith on.  I found that Rock in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit alone.  I have no trouble incorporating some of their Practices into mine; but my faith is centered and certain in the God of the Scriptures I have found to be True and who I am committed by love to worship and to listen to.

FLESH IS FRAGILE

When tragedies like the earthquake in Nepal occur, it causes me to ponder how fragile this life in the flesh is.  Thousands of people whose lives were snuffed out in a moment; thousands of people injured; thousands of people who were affected in some devastating way, all in an instant. My normal little daily concerns seem petty in contrast.  The age old question arises in my mind; what is this life all about?

“All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord

blows on it; Surely people are grass.  The grass withers, the flower         fades, but the word of God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:6-8)

I just noticed that these verses follow the announcement used by John the Baptist when he was telling people about the coming of Jesus, God in the flesh.  Jesus was only here in the flesh for about thirty-three years; yet he stands as the Word of God forever.

I watch the tulips in my yard rise and fall; they bloom, die, and rise again year after year.  I can read about why and how that happens, but do I really know?  People try so hard to know and understand things that are not knowable or understandable, but in the end they only know theories. In a split second an earthquake occurs and while there are those who say they can explain it, they are powerless to stop it.  Nature is one of God’s mysteries that keeps me humble before Him.

Mount Everest, the earth’s highest mountain, has become a symbol of human conquest. This most recent event put that symbol in proper perspective in a matter of minutes.  Why do we feel we have to conquest God’s creation; nature or human? God and His creation were not meant to be challenged and conquered; they were meant to be delighted in.  What is life all about?  For me it is to be filled with awe and delight as I live in the mysteries of God.

God did not cause this tragedy; it was an act of nature.  Scientists are now saying they knew this would happen.  But with all their knowing and understanding they could do nothing to control it or stop it from happening.  All their knowledge and understanding simply brought them face to face with the unconquerable mystery of God’s creative power.

My heart is sad and my mind is numb in the light of this tragic event.  But I believe that God is God, and while my flesh will wither and fade, and the mountains will someday tumble and fall, His Word will stand forever.  My life here in the flesh is temporary, fragile, and fleeting.  My life in the Spirit will be forever.

.

BE PREPARED

There is a crisis brewing on the horizon; one that will have a world wide effect.  Some who see it coming are responding in fear, wanting to destroy it before it reaches us.  Some who see it are responding in faith, knowing that God is in control of his creation.  Some say fight fire with fire; some say find faith in God.  There is a crisis brewing; one that will have a world wide effect.  It is time to be awake, alert, and aware so that we can be prepared.

My training in Crisis Counseling informed me of three ways to keep a problem from becoming a crisis that cripples.  First is to have a realistic knowledge and understanding of the problem.  Second is to have good coping skills to deal with the problem and its effects.  Third is to have a good support system to walk through the problem with you.

For this approaching crisis it is important to be informed by information that is historical and factual, not simply based on emotions and fear.  There are reasons why this crisis has reached a boil and it is important to be aware of them.  The crisis is deeply rooted in religion and concepts of God, so it touches the spirit and soul of people.  God and religion have been abused and the source of abuse throughout time.  Without an accurate concept of God and religion we will not understand the crisis or survive it.  It is time to put God back into the hypothesis that we have removed Him from.  It is time to lay down our broken cisterns filled with gods made in our own images and seek the One True God whose image we all were made in.

The best coping skill I know is to “Be still and know that I am God.”  We can only pay attention when we are still.  We can only know what God is saying when we are listening.  God is over all of His creation; He alone is all knowing in the crisis.  He will be with those who trust Him to see everyone, all sides, through it.  But we need to do things His way, not ours.  That has been the problem since the beginning of time.  Now is the time to stop and submit to His Way because it is the only way.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…The Lord is my stronghold, I shall not fear.  God is God and it’s time to humble ourselves and acknowledge Him.

Those who are willing in these present days to be still and know that God is God will be our support system. Those who have gone before us and gave their lives for God’s Kingdom will be our support system.  The communion of saints that have that have lived their lives for God’s Kingdom will be our support system.  The most important support will be from the Trinity itself; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

There is a crisis brewing on the horizon…Am I informed, enlightened, and in communion?  If the answer is yes then I will be prepared to meet whatever comes.

WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

My friend David Carlson gave a sobering talk on ISIS at Peace Forum today. 

It seems that this group is highly successful at recruited disenfranchised youth who are bored and find no meaning in life.  What have we done?

In the midst of violence and corruption

God’s people waited for the Promise of God

Mary in her home

Simeon and Anna in the temple

The Promise came to enlighten the world

Some received the Prince of Peace

Others rejected the Prince of Peace

Waiting for the Warrior God

Who would fight their battles

Jesus came with a vision of the Kingdom of God

A Kingdom of Peace filled with people of peace

Jesus came with a Way to live

That promoted the Kingdom of God

A Kingdom of Peace filled with peoples of peace

Some people fought his vision and his Way

But he was steadfast in God’s Way

Even as he was carried off to be killed

His command to his friends and followers was to

Put down your sword.

This is not the Way.

A quintessential bumper sticker from the 60’s came to mind

“Fighting for peace is like f---ing for virginity”

We as a nation have failed

We replaced his vision of the Kingdom of God

And have been busy building our own kingdoms

We refused to obey God’s Way to live

And chose to live our own way

We choose fear over love and fighting over peace

The consequences to this are now upon us

We live in the midst of violence and corruption

Standing tall with our swords drawn

We never learned our lessons

We continue to live in a faulty pattern

We sacrificed our lives to the American Dream

Of happiness and success

We sacrificed our kids to the American Dream

Of happiness and success

And left them with nothing of meaning

Just a lot of toys and empty stuff

Now they are on their way to being fuel for the fire

Attracted to a vision of hate, rage, and destruction

Pawns to be used by those who know only hate, rage

And destruction

We have no one to blame but ourselves

We have no recourse but to turn back to God

And repent of our selfish and shortsighted ways

MY ONE SIMPLE MOTIVE FOR WHAT I DO

There is something within my humanity that sometimes craves attention.  Normally I dislike attention, but every once in a while that need pokes its head out.  It tries to sneak its way into my motives for doing things.  This happened yesterday as I was typing my blogs.  I really like some of the things I write.  They make me feel good because I enjoy the process of seeing my thoughts on paper, there to stand beside the great thoughts of famous people.  There is a ”darn, that’s good” attitude that comes from knowing I had the same thoughts as someone well known, or maybe even a new thought that no one has had.  That’s when it happened; Ms Needy popped up and said, “Some day when you are dead people will discover your writings and be truly amazed and sad that they never knew you were such an outstanding writer.  In my strong days I stare at Ms Needy and she gets the message to leave without a word being spoken.  But in my weak and whinny days I entertain her thoughts and spend time imagining my post death fame.

The same need for attention can also come when I work on my Spiritual disciplines for my growth as a disciple of Jesus.  Ms Needy shows up as the Pharisee in the parable that Jesus told in Luke 18:9-14.  Just like him I “take my position and speak my prayer to myself.  “I am so together…I do this and I do that; I know this and I know that; I spend time my time wisely doing this and avoid doing that”, an so on.  Once again, in my strong days I stare at Ms Needy and she leaves.  But in my weak and whinny days I forget that I am more like the tax collector in the story.

It truly is all about my motives.  I love to write and I love to ponder thoughts and put them together like a puzzle on paper.  It’s more a process between me and God; the same with the disciplines.  I need structure and they keep me on the path I need to be on.  It has nothing to do with anyone else. It has nothing to do with proving to others how “spiritually cool” I am.

The truth is, my motive for what I write and what I practice is to spend time with God in His Presence; nothing more; nothing less.

If I have a need, an overriding desire that fuels my spiritual journey, it is to be the kind of person that God would want to walk with in the garden in the cool of the day.  That is my quest; my one simple motive for what I do.

SILENT & STILL WITHIN BOUNDARIES

I love to learn; to play around with thoughts and ideas; to put those thoughts and ideas into words and write them out on paper; to read how other people have looked at life and figured things out; I love it all.  But in the end, after all is said and done, I have been brought to this conclusion; “God is in heaven and you are on earth; therefore let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:1).

Of course the words haven’t been few, but many.  Books upon books have been written about God.  Theologians and philosophers have spoken and written many things about who God is and what He has done.  In my younger years I read and listened to all anyone had to say about how God works, lives, and has His being.  I listened to the arguments and chose my side, and at time came up with my own third way of seeing things.  I don’t regret those years, but something has changed for me.

I began to experience the truth the “knowledge puffeth up” and I became uncomfortable being with myself.  An arrogance slipped in unnoticed, disguised as being well educated.  I began speaking for God to others and to God more as an equal rather than His child.  Again I experienced the truth that “one who increases knowledge increases sorrow”.  I think Peter experienced these feelings several times when he put himself on equal terms with Jesus; once when he started telling Jesus what to do after he had just declared who Jesus was.  A second time came when he was on the mountain where Moses and Elijah appeared to speak with Jesus.  Peter began ordering the event, only to be stopped by God’s voice telling him who to listen to.  Peter, like me and all human beings can take our intimate relationship with God and run far beyond the boundaries, being a little too big for our britches.  This is where I had come and when I realized it the sorrow came.

I had become someone I didn’t like being around.  I became critical and judgmental, all robed in a false sense of righteousness.  In humility I repented out of a heart knowledge that I was out of bounds.  Simply knowing and being in an intimate relationship is enough for me.  I enjoy being silent and still in God’s Presence.  I have been weaned of impressing others and myself of all of my accumulated knowledge and credentials.  I don’t need to know anything more than Him.  He speaks to me as I watch and enjoy the natural world that surrounds me.  He speaks to me as I read the Scriptures, giving me little treasures of thought to dwell on throughout the day.  I come to know Him and know myself better through His eyes.  That helps me to know how to respond to others and to the life I live in a contemplative way.  My desire is to sit in silence and stillness, to listen as He speaks, and to observe and obey all that He reveals to me.  That is enough for me.

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES REQUIRE RELATIONSHIP

Man was given a task in the beginning…”Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl upon the earth…”

But that task was given in the light of man’s creation…”Let us make human beings in our image, after our likeness.”  Human beings are to be to the things of the earth as God is.  God is sovereign over all His creation.  God attends to His creation with love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  Is this how human beings are fulfilling their task?  I think not.

God made nature self sufficient and low maintenance, requiring only fresh air, water, and food, all of which He provides.  Man was to attend to the process not to impede on it or change it.  Man was to be in relationship with nature, just as God is in relationship with him.  A great many of our problems today are due to a breach in relationship; man with his creator and man with God’s creation.  When that relationship is broken we no longer act in the image or likeness of God; we are left to act merely in our own image and likeness; in the flesh.

“Now the works of the flesh are evident; sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these” (Galatians 5:19-21).

Our decision and choice to act outside of God’s dominion over us, to breach the relationship we were created to have with Him and His world affects our relationship and dealings with one another and with the natural world we live in.  When we repent and return to our original place of being in God’s image and likeness, our relationship with each other and all of God’s creation will return to how they were created to be and manifest themselves.  I believe that was why Jesus came to earth and dwelt among us; to do all he could to heal and restore that relationship.

CEASING LIFE IS KILLING

Is a seed alive? 

I never thought of it as alive,

But then when Jesus says the seed must die,

It must mean the seed is alive.

 

It is full of life, that I know. 

It is full of Being, that I know.

 Everything it will ever BE is within it. 

So it has life but not yet form. 

The seed will go into the ground,

Already Being what it will become. 

An apple seed will become an apple tree, nothing else.

 It is a mystery.

If this is true

Is an egg and sperm united

Full of life and Being

Everything it will ever BE is within it.

So it has life but not yet form.

The egg and sperm is alive with a child

It has life but not yet form.

Everything the child will BE is within it.

Maybe we need to rethink

When life begins.

SIMPLE & SMALL IS STILL BEAUTIFUL

Books upon books, sermons upon sermons, teachings upon teachings have all been done on the subjects of theology, philosophy, and evangelization.  Two of my previous mentors have been giving the same message, saying the same words about revival for over forty years.  Classes and programs on discipleship have come and gone and come again over the years.  All of these are good things, important things, things that I have participated in for most of my life.  But at some point one has to consider and ask; are they making a difference in the Church, in the world, or more important in the lives of individuals?

As I grow older I find myself changing from my youthful zeal to know everything under the sun about everything, especially about Religion.  Now I find myself zealous to deaccumulate much of what I have read, heard, and studied.  I find myself withdrawing from the multitude of teachers I surrounded myself with, attending conference after conference, and reading book after book.  For a season it was good…but a new season has come.  I find myself content with the One teacher Jesus sent to teach me; the very One I began my Christian Journey with.  I find myself keeping clear and far from the maddening crowd of “mega this” and “super sized that”, and returning to my “small is beautiful” way of life.

The big, loud, and overly assertive Christian Movement wasn’t sustainable for me.  Celebrity Christianity wasn’t sustainable for me.  I found myself seeking the still small voice simply saying, “Come and follow me”.  I found myself contently nourished with the knowledge and wisdom I found in the Scriptures and in watching nature as they revealed God to in a holistic and organic way.  I found myself satisfied and at peace in the silence and stillness of the sacred times I spend with God, alone in His Presence.

Jesus came to give life.  When I abide in that life the theology, philosophy, and evangelization will come quietly and fully to support that life.  As to the books, sermons, and teachings, I take care; sometimes having too much of a good thing can be distracting and just as destructive as not having anything.

SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE

“Let your eyes look straight ahead and your gaze be focused forward.  Survey the path for your feet, and all your ways will be sure.”

Proverbs 4:25-27

Singleness of purpose and right conduct proceed from the heart of the wise as from the source of life.  This was the footnote to the above verse.  It seems to be a description of Jesus as he walked on this earth.  He was always aware of who he was and what he was sent to do; that one thing he spoke of Mary choosing.  It sounds so simple, but is it; especially in today’s world?

Lost in the raging sea of information

Drowning in the abundance of words and teachings

Is it any wonder that the world suffers

From Attention Deficit Disorder

Too much, too many

Moment by moment “supersizing” our minds

Filling them to capacity with every new thought or idea

Wave after wave they come

Opinions, facts, truths, lies, all words

That flood and fill the air waves

That continually surrounds us

We are filling every empty space with noise

Leaving us filled but not nourished nor satisfied.

Query

Is it possible that too much of a good thing

can be just as detrimental as not having anything?

Living His Story & Singing His Song

Living His Story & Singing His Song

I was created to be a part of the story of the universe

Not just be me

I was created to be in tune with song of the universe

Not just sing my own note

I was created to be one with something bigger

Not just to do things my way

I was created as one complete and whole individual

Not only one, but one with many

I was created as one character in the story

Not the only character

I was created as one note in the song

Not the only note

I was created to be a part of something bigger than me

I was created to be in tune with someone bigger than me

One whole individual among many

Together a part and in tune with

The Author and Composer of Life

Living His Story

Singing His Song.

BLESSED IS THE ONE WHOSE SIN IS FORIVEN

Psalm 32

Blessed is the one whose sin is forgiven

When I disobey God I am out of sync with the Author of my life.  When I disobey God, the creator of the heavens and the earth, I am out of sync with the universe.  It is like being a character in the wrong story or an instrument that is out of tune with the rest of the orchestra.  Not only do I not fit in but I affect the whole story or song that is being performed.  It is natural to feel bad about this and in feeling bad begin to do something to get it rightly adjusted so there is the sense of being where I am meant to be and in tune with the universe.

A writer works hard at crafting a story.  Each word must say what it is meant to say.  That takes hours of discipline, of changing and cutting things out, revising and redoing until it is all right.

An orchestra works hard at crafting a song.  Each instrument must be in tune and each note played must be the right note to make the song sound as it was meant to sound.  Time and energy are spent but when the story is written and the song performed it is received by the appreciative audience and there is a feeling of accomplishment that surpasses the sacrifice and the cost.

When I sin and fall short of what God has meant for me to be, I will feel bad.  But that feeling is only a warning light.  Once it goes on I need to stop and do what I need to do to get things rightly adjusted.  I need to repent; to revise my behavior and retune my being so that I am in sync with the Author of my life and the universe in which I live.  When I do that I will experience forgiveness and that surpasses any and all sacrifice and cost.

WHAT IS A CONTEMPLATIVE LIFE?

Living life in the manner of Lectio Divina

In stillness

In silence

In simplicity

Reading the Scriptures

Reading nature

Reading myself

Reading others

Reading circumstances

Reading situations

Slowly, Sincerely, Sacredly, Spiritually

Giving my time

to the moment I am in

to the person I am with

to the work I am doing

to the life I am living

Giving my patience

to the moment I am in

to the person I am with

to the work I am doing

to the life I am living

Giving my attention

to the moment I am in

to the person I am with

to the work I am doing

to the life I am living

Giving my presence

to the moment I am in

to the person I am with

to the work I am doing

to the life I am living

TRANSFORMED

It is clear that being with Jesus as disciples 24/7, listening to his teaching, and watching how he lived, was not enough to really change these folks.  It was certainly important, but not enough.  A transformation was absolutely necessary for them to be who they became and to do what they did.  Transmitting information is important but not enough.  Words are not enough.  Inspiration is important but not enough.  Transformation is absolutely necessary.

People can’t be talked into or taught into a life of faith in God; there must be a transformation of their heart, mind, and soul.  Only the Holy Spirit can do that.  The talk and teaching can only help prepare the way to make on ready to receive the life breathed into the heart.

The world was dark and void before God breathed life into being; the woman came with her empty water jar and listened to the words Jesus spoke; The man had no one to put him into the pool until Jesus came and told him to get up; the sick were in need, ready to be healed; those who were seeking, found him.

When I am full of myself there is no room in the Inn of my heart for God to enter.  I must be empty and ready to receive His words, His touch, and His call.  I am finding that stillness and silence are great tools in preparing my soul for the Spirit’s transformation.  Rather than filling my mind with information I need to allow God’s inspired Word to transform it, renew it, and fill it with Him, His ways, His Law, His Nature, and His life.