I have been adrift
the last few months. The intensity of
family issues and the deaths of several loved ones, especially my mom, have
left me unstable. Death makes one stop
and take stock of what I really believe and what it all means. I became tired of everyone and every thing,
except God. I found that my roots of my
faith are deep and that alone works for me.
Everyone has an
opinion about God, the church, religion, and life; but I am tired of opinions,
even mine. They are the things that
divide and keep us defending and defensive and I am tired of it all.
I do well with my
simple faith; it works for me. “I
believe what I believe; it’s what makes me what I am.” (Rich Mullins) I just want to live a quiet life, think about
things I like to think about; write about things I like to write about and tend
to my own affairs. Somewhere along the
line I was told I can change the world and fix all that is wrong with it. Well, I can’t; I can only love and serve God.
I want to think
high thoughts and not live in the mundane fruitless world of who did what to
whom and that’s not fair. That mind loop
gets me nowhere. There is so much more
to life than the drama I create or that is created by others around me. I want to walk with God in the cool of the
day and commune with Him as a friend. I
want to hear His thoughts, not dwell on mine.
My story made me what I am; now it’s time to BE who I am. God works in seasons. There is a time for everything but it isn’t
all the time. There is a time to get
over my self and move on.
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