I became aware of
something the other day, as I sat and contemplated my life. This is the first time in my life that I
haven’t been a part of something. I grew up in a big family, joined the Girl
Scouts, went to school, went to church, got various jobs, went to college, and
became a part of all of those things. My
family has dwindled and distance separates all of us that are left; I am
retired so I don’t work with other people, I don’t go to a specific church, and
I don’t go to school anymore. So the
question I had to ask myself is, “where do I belong”, which leads to a second
question of, “what is my purpose?” It
all boils down to what do I keep busy at and why.
Everyone I have a
conversation with these days, is busy…too busy to talk, to busy to get
together, to busy being busy. It seems
to have become a buzz word for where we are in our lives today. I guess I have to ask busy at what? I do things, but I never consider myself
busy. Even when I was in the school and
job world and did what I did in it, I never considered myself busy; just doing
what I was doing. I honestly can’t
remember ever saying I was too busy to talk with someone, or do something with
someone. I guess that is why I find it
insulting to use “I’m too busy” as an excuse for anything. When I am in one of my snarky moods I ask,
“Busy doing what?” I have found that
there is usually a stammering or a silence on the other end. “Just busy, that’s all”. That’s when I realized it was more of a buzz
word than fact.
Somewhere the
message got out that being busy was what we humans were suppose to be…busy and
productive; always on the go. The what,
who, and how of it wasn’t important; we are just to be busy. Somewhere along the line I missed that
lesson. I think I got that from my
father’s side of the family. My father’s
sister let people know that “Thomas’ just sit”.
My mom used to say my dad spends his time sitting and watching the grass
grow.
My father never
looked busy, always had the time to chat with the neighbors, appeared to be not
doing much, and yet he accomplished a lot.
Besides his job he was a Mason, he built things, and he worked with
leather and glass as craft hobbies, making some really cool things. He was active, but, not too busy.
My mom was more of
an “out and about” type; girl scouts and church work kept her on the move. She also did a lot of craft work with ceramics,
making some really cool things. She was
active, but, not too busy.
Time with family
and friends, and those who we loved always was there, no matter what. People were a priority, especially
family. We ate our meals together, went
on weekend outings together, vacationed together, and enjoyed spending simple
times, like games in the yard, picnicking, or just hanging out with one
another. I never heard the words too
busy. My folks weren’t rich and so we
all learned how to provide our own entertainment. Fortunately I come from a
really creative family so we were never bored.
Maybe that is why I don’t have the need to be busy. There is no
emptiness to work hard at filling.
Sometimes I miss
being a part of something; most of the time I don’t. My purpose now is to simply enjoy life as it
comes to me. Life is very full but not
busy. Life is very still but not
boring. I can sit for hours just
looking out my window at the trees, the birds, and the squirrels and never be
bored. I can sit for hours and watch the
ocean waves rise and fall, and splash along the coast line. I can sit for hours gazing at the mountains
as they rise to the sky. My Aunt was
right; Thomas’ just sit. Never busy,
never bored, but very much a part of life.
“I have come that they may have life,
And that they may have it more abundantly.”
John 10:10
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