WHAT ARE MY EBENEZERS?

I Samuel 7: 12

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Till now the Lord has helped us.”

One of my favorite Brian Mclaren songs we used to sing at the Fellowhip is, “I’ve seen the Lord come through, time and time, and time again.”  It highlights several Bible stories of how God always comes to the defense of his people.  I also know that I have experienced God’s help in many ways in my life; some simple and almost insignificant; some mighty and always

transformational.   But, being human, when the fire is out and the battle is done, I tend to forget and go on, wrapped up in the details, and the mundane activities that make up my life on a daily basis. 

God warned his people of this tendency to forget in Deuteronomy 8. “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery…”

God is continually working in the lives of his people.  We walk through much of our lives thinking we are doing ok, totally unaware of the care God is giving to the details and flow of our lives.  It usually takes something drastic  happening to realize God…either to blame him for our circumstances or hopefully to repent of the neglect and turn to him for guidance and assistance.  But then, usually the pattern of forgetfulness begins again. 

We need to remember God; in the good times as well as the difficult times.

Samuel watched as God came to Israel’s defense and conquered those doing battle with them.  He placed a stone at the site, a stone of remembrance.  Whenever he or anyone else in Israel looked at that stone they would think back to when they saw God come through, time and time and time again; and they would be grateful and give thanks to God for his love and his care.

Query:  What are my Ebenezer’s?

GOOD ROOTS PRODUCE GOOD FRUITS

God roots himself in history when he reveals himself to people.  “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob” (Exodus 3:6).  One of the many things that I am learning to appreciate about the Catholic Church is that they root themselves in history; keeping current with those who were there from the beginning, the fathers and mothers of the church and the saints who followed in their footprints.  It is in being well rooted that a tree or a plant will be able to stand strong in the winds of a storm.  It is in being well rooted that the church will be able to stand strong in the winds of adversity.  That doesn’t mean that the outgrowth can’t change; growth requires change.  But if the roots remain strong and intact the growth will be healthy and fruitful.

History is important in the lives of individuals; family history and ancestry make us who we are. Institutional memory is an important element in any group of people; a nation, a church, a camp, and a business.  Keeping and honoring the roots of the original vision and allowing for new growth to enhance the original vision is a delicate endeavor.  Growth requires an openness to new ways, while maintaining the deep roots of what has worked thus far.  In our world of instant and quick fixes we often get rid of the old so we can make room for the new.  This is true in our history as a civilization and in the development of our faith in God.  We humans tend to easily forget and end up neglecting and abandoning all together the lessons we have learned that can help us grow and mature into good fruit.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise…Take care lest you forget the Lord” (Deuteronomy 6:4-7,12).

Deuteronomy 6 is echoed often in Jesus’ words to his disciples.  Remember; teach what I have taught; do this in remembrance of me.  When we lose sight of all that God has done since the beginning of time, we will not have a faith with strong roots, nourishing us, supporting us, and encouraging us to grow deeply in the faith.  We will forget and forsake God, build our own broken cisterns that do not hold water, and fail at the things that truly matter.

THE FLESH IS WEAK

Human failings; Jesus, in his last days before his crucifixion, was surrounded by human failings.  His disciples failed him again and again.  They gave the woman who came with the alabaster flask of very expensive ointment and poured it on him a difficult time, saying it was a waste of money; they fell asleep after he had asked them to stay wake and pray with him.  The chief priest and leaders of the religious system were constantly exhibiting their disbelief of who he was.  The governors and heads of state arrested him, beat him, and eventually killed him.  No, Jesus, who had given himself for all of these people, was surrounded by human failings.  If he didn’t know better he might have been discouraged and disappointed, especially by the ones he had lived and worked with for three years, preparing them to continue the work he had started.  But he knew what was ahead and at that was able to yield his spirit and complete the work he was sent to do.

Without God I can do nothing. (John 15:5)  Try as I might to do or to be a vessel for God, it is futile without abiding in him and the Holy Spirit abiding in me.  The flesh is weak and wears out quickly.  I feel that daily.  Things I used to be able to do without much thought have become a great effort to accomplish, even the smallest things.  By the fleshly standards of this world I am old and used up.  But my spirit is stronger than ever.  I have time now to sit in God’s Presence and be renewed and refreshed by our communion with one another.  Some would say that is a waste, just like the woman with the alabaster jar; I need to be doing something besides sitting and praying with God.  There is so much to DO.  I DID for many years…now all I can do is simply BE…BE myself, and BE with him.

WHAT ARE YOU SEEKING?

John’s Gospel has always been the one I love to read the most.  There seems to be more of a heart connection in its words and teachings.  In me that renders more of a mystical sense that a rational understanding.  John knew and loved Jesus in a very close and intimate way, just as I do; and his writing reveals that and speaks to me in a very close and intimate way, right to my soul.

God speaks to me through all of the Scriptures, no matter how much humans have interfered with them.  The Holy Spirit teaches me through all of them, no matter what humans have done to them.  To me the Scriptures are important and absolutely necessary in how I order my mind and my life.  There is an above and beyond the physical words and that is the Word, God himself.  That is why I listen carefully, not only for the revelation of God’s love for me and all he created, but also for his conviction and correction that helps me grow and become all that I am meant to be.

Today as I read about the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18, I was faced with one of those moments of conviction and correction.  It was no surprise because my Achilles heel had been irritated by the recent happenings at PH this week.  I am quick to raise my ‘righteous’ sword.  My reaction is strongly rooted in my history with my father.  I know how much my life was affected by wrongs that were never dealt with.  This present culture would say I am justified in my anger.  Jesus says something different.  It is from the perspective of how much I have been forgiven by God that I need to forgive others.  That is no easy task, especially in these days where justice and righting perceived wrongs is a battle cry for rebellion and revolution.  It’s not that we shouldn’t try to make things right; it’s how we do that, and what the motivation behind our actions truly is.  Mostly we end up acting out of the same motivation as the ones we are trying to correct.  That usually ends up keeping the behavior going but just changing the players. 

In a lot of these situations the motivation is usually about power.  Those who strongly oppose power being exerted over those who are powerless generally then become a power in themselves and usually go down the same trail as those who went before them, the ones they overthrew.  I saw this at GOB.  Those in leadership, who stood against the organized church, weren’t so much against the organization of the church; they just wanted to be the Pope.

If I am called to offer correction to someone or some situation, I need to come in the right spirit and with the right motivation.  “Forgive me, as I forgive others.”  This takes prayer and deep humility on my part and this is often difficult for me.  But I know it is true.  So I continue my quest to learn to silence my reaction in the flesh and wait until I can respond in the Spirit.  (I want my reactive Peter side to yield to my contemplative responsive John side.)

In the end it always comes down to the one question that Jesus first asked his disciples recorded in John 1:38.  “What are you seeking?”  His answer as, “Come and you will see.”  Am I seeking to be the ‘righter of all wrongs’, a ‘champion of justice’, a ‘defender of the underdog’?  The world would see these as worthy goals.  But that is not what I am seeking.  I am seeking You.

I am seeking the One who IS the true righter of wrongs; who IS the true champion of justice; who IS the defender of the underdog.  He knows all there is to know in order to truly bring these things about.  It is in being in relationship with him and in communion with him that I will learn his way of being all these things.  It is in following him that I will see.  It is in following him that I will respond.  It is in following him that I will find all that I seek.

Make me a woman of silence and prayer in all that I think and in all that I do.  Help me respond to your voice alone.  Help me to speak out of the holy silence, out of Your abundant love.

Query:  What are you seeking?

             What are you speaking out of?

              Are you reacting or responding?

RESPOND IN FAITH OR REACT IN THE FLESH

Jesus could remain asleep in a boat during a storm; he could stand true to his convictions in the face of attack from the religious leaders of his day; he could stand securely silent before the political leaders of his day.  He was truly centered and secure in the strength of his Father and the Holy Spirit.  That is the faith I want to be forever growing in.  I feel that I am getting better at it but I am still not there.  I still react in the flesh rather than respond out of the Spirit when I get ruffled.  When people are treated poorly, especially by people who know better, I get angry.  When people continually act badly and harm others, and get away with it, I get angry.

I know the root of my anger and many would tell me that I am justified in my anger.  But I still want to respond to situations with faith and not react so totally in the flesh.  I know in my heart of hearts that God is in control and I need to put down my sword of ‘righteousness’, especially when what is happening has nothing to do with me and I have no input whatsoever. 

I live n a world of the information highway.  That information alerts me to all the wrongs in the world.  What arises in me is the feeling that I am responsible to right all these wrongs.  But in reality I am not involved and have no way to be; so why do I get so absorbed?  It’s like the waves crashing into the boat in the midst of a storm.

 Like the disciples, I react in fear…Jesus remains asleep in faith.

LIVING FOUNTAINS OR BROKEN CISTERNS

I see being a writer as a way of life, not just a way of making a living.  It’s a way of revealing who I am, both to myself and to others with who I relate with.  Perhaps that is God’s thought about creation.

Creation is a gift, not a product to be bought and sold.  It somehow loses something of the spirit of an organism when we reduce it to a physical material to be bartered for.  We have spoiled creation by making it into a commodity.  Creation offers its gifts of beauty but we destroy them to meet our demands of greed.  Empty fields become lots for condos, glorious trees become lumber to build the condos; streams, rivers, and oceans become sewers for human waste; we fill our land with mountains comprised of our trash; the sky is filled with the pollution from our modes of travel.  It seems like everything that humans build for comfort is at the expense of and sacrifice of God’s gift of creation.  And even at that, we refuse to acknowledge him or thank him.

We have made the earth toxic which makes those of us who inhabit it toxic as well; individually in our body, mind, and soul, and in our relationships with one another.  We were warned about this time and time again; we either ignored the warnings or we heard the warnings, agreed with them, but kept on doing what we were doing anyway, because it met our needs.  In this humans haven’t changed much since the beginning of time.

I love creation and enjoy the creative process.  But creation requires inspiration and how can inspiration survive in toxic conditions?  Inspiration and creativity are all God given gifts.  But if we continue to reject God where will the inspiration and creativity come from?  Our own cisterns are broken and can hold no water.  Why would we choose those rather than the fountains of living water that is God?

HOW CAN ONE NOT SEE YOU?

It’s interesting to sit and listen to people as they share how they rationally reject Jesus.  They use words of ideology like ‘I’m no longer Christocentric’ as if Jesus was a philosophy rather than a person with flesh and blood who lived here on earth.  At times like these I am grateful I’m not smart in the worldly things of this life.  I am grateful to be like the shepherds, the fishermen, the poor and the sick who met Jesus face to face and enjoyed a friendly encounter and a relationship with him.  I wouldn’t want to be alive without knowing and loving You as a reality in my life and having an ongoing one on one relationship with You.  What would be the point of being alive?

In reading Matthew 2:4, 5 and 17:10-13, it is obvious that the scribes and the high priests knew the truth written about the coming of Jesus, and yet they totally missed his arrival.  Not much has changed.  In the ways of the Spirit knowledge and reason must be rooted in revelation and relationship.  The shepherds listened to the angel that appeared to them; they believed and then went to see and be with the child in the manger, knowing it was Christ the Lord.  The wise men saw the star and followed it to see and be with the child born in the manger, knowing that he was the king of the Jews.

The scribes and high priests had their books in which the prophesies were written; they missed the event entirely and would later crucify the one of whom their books spoke.

God speaks and reveals himself to everyone, but it is those who are humble enough to listen, believe, and come to him that actually hear and see him and want to be with him.

MY TRUTH THAT OVERCOMES MY FEELINGS

I probably won’t remember things people say to me or do for me.  But I almost always remember how I felt when I was in their presence; and often that is the most difficult to forget and forgive if it was a negative experience.  Feelings seem to bury themselves deep inside and can be easily triggered by a memory or being in a similar situation.  For me the worst are the feelings of coming in second in a race, feeling less important than someone else in a room, made to feel disrespected, being bullied or controlled against my will or wishes, or just being ignored.  I would suspect that everyone has felt one or all of these feelings at some point in their life; but if one has been surrounded by these feelings consistently throughout their life, real damage can be done to their soul.

One of the reasons I love to read the Bible is because I can see all the various aspects of my personality and characteristics in the people I read about.  Peter, so anxious to please, often speaking before thinking, messing up a lot, and making a fool of himself in the eyes of others; John, so secure as to lay close to Jesus at the last supper and to stand with Jesus’ mother at the cross; Mary Magdalene, staying close to her master from start to finish of the crucifixion and resurrection, and hear him speak her name with love and respect, even though she was seen as a woman of ill repute.  All of these people and more came into contact with Jesus and found only love in his response to them, no matter what their story was.  All they felt was good in his Presence.

I spend too much time and energy either judging others or justifying myself.  My rational explanations can be used to prove any point true, especially when it justifies behavior I want to keep doing, even if it is wrong.  It’s exhausting and it’s wasted exertion of energy.

In the end I am responsible for my relationship with God. That is a decision I do not take lightly. The Bible, the Church, and other people can have some influence, but in the end it’s me and God and my choice.  God has always given people a choice when it comes to following Him.  “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore choose life…” (Deuteronomy 30:15-20).

Once I make that choice; once I make that decision, I am to live it, no matter what anyone says to judge me, or justify me, or define me.  That choice and decision is between me and God.  From that point on I look to God for how I am to order my life; not culture, not the Church, not other people and their relationship with God.  “When Peter saw him he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, what about this man?’  Jesus said to him, ’If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?  You follow me” (John 21:20-22).

I choose YOU God.  It is only in Your Presence that I feel forever and eternally love, accepted, respected, and affirmed, even when I mess up and fall short; especially when I mess up and fall short.  I choose You now and forever.  You are my Truth that overcomes all feelings.

You Alone

All the chipping away; all the changing things;

All the things done to fill the emptiness

But doesn’t.

All the building; all the gathering;

All the ungathering done to ease the boredom;

But doesn’t.

When I stop; when I look; when I listen;

It’s then I find Your Presence.

Hidden in the field; among the other pearls;

In the first place I would look; in the last place I would look;

That is where You are,

Waiting for me.

You alone fill the emptiness; You alone ease the boredom;

You alone fill my soul.

You alone feed my soul.

GOD'S GIFTS & HUMAN RIGHTS

There are plenty of good things I can do to be a better person. I do those things in hope of making a better world, a kinder gentler place to live.  But those things are not the things that make me a disciple of Jesus; they are the fruit of my being a disciple.  “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

I can be doing just fine, being kind to all I meet, doing nice things, and feeling pretty good about myself and my life of service.; then someone gets in my way or does something that irritates me, and I loose it.  Or I am told to do something I don’t want to do, so I stand strong with my guard up and disobey.  For me that is when the cross I am to carry comes into play. 

Jesus doesn’t call me to stay in toxic situations or simply be a doormat; but he does call me to measure my response to any and all situations by following what he did as my example; to do what he would want me to do not necessarily what I would want to do.  Many times there is a big difference.

The point of the cross is sacrifice, the willing acceptance of a loss; to forfeit; to give up.  My way must always yield to God’s way; his way is always right for my soul.  “For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits his soul” (Luke 9:25)?  Our present culture is obsessed with Rights, those things we say are due to us, owed to us, deserved by us; life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, control over our own bodies, marriage, and so on.  We are told that many of these are God given Rights, but I don’t see them listed anywhere in the Scriptures.  Rights have a human root to them.  God gives us gifts and those gifts are to be used for ourselves and for others.  I personally believe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about Rights if we were loving God, loving one another, and using our God given gifts the way God meant them to be used.  

IT'S DEEPER & BROADER THAN FOLLOWING THE RULES

My life as a disciple of Jesus is not about just obeying the rules. It goes much deeper within and much broader without; deeper within because it goes to the heart of motivation, the why I do things; broader because it encompasses all of my life and everyone I come in contact with, not just my ‘Sunday best’ to those in ‘my group’.  This is where ordering my life towards God by following the example set forth by Jesus makes the difference between just being religious. The Pharisees and the rich young ruler were religious, but they lacked in comparison to Jesus.  They did all the “You have heards” but failed to heed the “but I say to yous”. 

The “but I say to yous” are the depth and breath of the Christian walk, the fulfillment of the laws beyond the accomplishment of obeying them.  It entails the not being angry, the keeping my eyes and mind clean, the going the extra mile, and it’s the loving my enemies that makes my obedience true and perfect before God.

The deeper and broader are often the quieter and less seen things.  They are more a part of the foundation of my growth rather then the blossoms and blooming of my acts. They tend to be unnoticed by others but are very visible to God who is the attender and rewarder of those secret acts. This is often difficult to my ego, who likes to be fed by the righteous acts I do.  “But your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18).

Once again it is following Jesus’ example that makes a difference. Those who follow Jesus must die to self and ego. They no longer try to be the best Christian ever, the most righteous, religious, or pious of them all. They simply die to self and let the Spirit of God live in them and produce fruit as an offering, a free offering, to those they encounter and to the deeds they do.  

There Are Moments in My Life

There Are Moments in My Life

There are moments in my life

When I sit in amazement.

How did I get to this place

Of absolute belief in You?

No matter what anyone says,

No matter what evidence

Or reason is brought forth

I know You to be True.

No matter how complicated

No matter how noisy

I simply commune with You.

There are moments in my life

When I sit in amazement.