Jesus was secure in who he was. “I am the bread of life; I am the light of the world; I am the good shepherd; I am the resurrection and the life; I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Even in his most difficult of situations, when the soldiers came to arrest him, he boldly responded, “I am he.” There was no fear, no hesitation, no defense; just a simple “I am he.”
Peter, the rock, the one who several times boldly proclaimed his love and his loyalty to Jesus, succumbed to fear of the situation, and when pointed out as being one of Jesus’ disciples boldly proclaimed three times, “I am not.” Three times he denied even knowing this man he had loved and followed for three years. Matthew records in his gospel that after the third time, after the rooster crowed just as Jesus said it would, Peter wept bitterly. His bold proclamation of “Though they all fall away, I will never fall away. Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you (Matthew 26:33, 34).”
I know how Peter felt in both instances. There are times when I am bold as a lion in my faith in Jesus, and then there are times when I am as timid as a new born lamb, and succumb to the fear of those who intimidate me with their false knowledge and empty proclamation that there is no God, except to the ignorant who need such fables. In my heart I stand firm. In my flesh I crumble. Thankfully Jesus knows my heart.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is in John 21, when Jesus comes and ever so gently reconciles Peter to his heart. Not in a bold proclamation, but in a spirit of humility Peter speaks of his love and his loyalty to Jesus. It was his failures that produced his true humility. In that, he could truly follow and serve Jesus.
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