Jesus, on the
night he was to be arrested and led to his death, spent his final hours with
his disciples. He washed their feet and
shared what became a sacramental meal with them. He did these most intimate things knowing
that one of these men would betray him, leading those who would eventually kill
him to the place where he was; also knowing that one of these men would deny
even knowing him for fear of suffering the same fate as the one he truly loved. Then, in the end Jesus stood before a crowd
of people, who a week earlier were shouting praises and welcoming him into
their city, but now were shouting “crucify him” with hatred and vengeance in
their voices. All of these people, from
the two disciples to the crowd were people he only gave love to and who he was
now laying down his life for. How could
he do that?
The light of his
life shines on the pettiness of mine. My
disillusionments and disappointments with people and circumstances are
inconsequential in the light of his love.
He was so intimate
with Judas and Peter right up to the end.
He became naked before them performing the duties of a servant. He tenderly dipped a morsel of bread in wine
and fed the one who would immediately get up and leave to do his deed of death
that would be initiated by a kiss in the garden.
Then as Jesus was
walking stripped and beaten to his last accuser he looked right into the eyes
of Peter just as the cock crowed at the third denial coming from Peter’s
lips. As for the crowd who turned on him
he offered words of forgiveness as he was dying. “Forgive them, for they know not what they
do.” But Peter and Judas did know what
they had done. Judas’s greed led him to
his own destruction, as he hanged himself.
Peter’s fear led him to despondency and a sense of futility, as he went
fishing which was what he was doing when Jesus first called him.
I know what it is
like to walk in the shoes of both of these men; to be intimate with God and yet
covet the things of the world; to be afraid and intimidated by others to the
point of denying my faith in order to fit in with the crowd. But Jesus remained true through it all, with
me and with these men. Jesus went and
found Peter and over breakfast on a beach he performed a powerful act
reconciliation that made a new man out of Peter.
In my heart I
believe that on another plane, in another world that somehow happened with
Judas, because that is how I believe God is.
In the end it is
all about love, God’s love for the world and God’s love for each and every one
of us. It remains true in times and
circumstances of forsakenness and betrayal on our part. I don’t know how or why he does it, but I
know I want to learn to do it too.
God, keep me from
the wiles of the enemy; hunger for the things of the flesh, fear, and
greed. Keep my focus on all the glory
that comes from you, and far from the glory that comes from man. Amen.
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